robin

I have just flown back to Spynook from a mission in Art Asylum rose gardens where I pose as a model for the photographers. I perch on the bench where people sit and gossip whilst photographers snap away. Good cover for picking up all sorts of tidbits. A young lady sat on my bench and asks me why I was so upset about Spook Sparrow accusing me of subversion and sabotage whilst he was off to Wren's Nest spying for Five. She objected that as a rebel surely I should be proud of being accused of subversion and sabotage. This ruffled my feathers a bit which delighted the photographers. Anyway I thought I should explain. Firstly, fact is that I did not not trash the nook. Alf the security guard, who is a fascist and a fat fibber, claimed to have stopped me trashing the nook.It was actually me who stopped him trashing the nook when he was on the booze. Alf is a villain and he tells porkies. Okay so we all do because you have to don't you? In my profession it is regarded as an essential survival skill. But he was telling porkies about me to get me into trouble. He knew I would not snitch on him for the damage he caused. And he was snitching on me for what I did not do. Furthermore being a subversive does not make me a saboteur. I do not go round committing random acts of destruction. I do defend my territory and the nook is my territory. You obey my rules or I kick you out. Rule number one is only me wears red. If you come in my territory wearing red I kick you out. Alf says that is a sumptuary law like royalty used to have so it makes me a reactionary royalist and he said that no one took any notice of the laws anyway. Rule number two is do not contradict me in my territory. This is my patch and what I say goes and if you don't like it push off. You are free to leave which you would not be if I were a reactionary dictator like Alf accuses me of being. Rule number three is I am free to do what I like be what I like in my own territory. So I am against the government dictating stupid laws that restrict me or affect my rights in my own territory and that makes me a rebel and revolutionary because the government has got masses of stupid laws that infringe my rights and they are invasive. So I want the government overthrown only not the way that Guy Fawkes tried to do it. That just caused more trouble and the government passed a law making celebration of foiling the plot compulsory. A lot of people still seem to think it is compulsory and the fireworks cause a lot of damage to the environment including my territory. Fireworks make a lot of noise and land in my territory like as if there was a war or act of terrorism and it should be stopped. I am also abolishing Christmas as it is a big racket and I am forbidding Santa Clause to enter Spynook. Instead I will celebrate the festival with my Red Army medley provided I get fed and please don't forget to make sure the birdbath is defrosted so I can have a drink.